“Happy new year. Oh my god! What heat! Opressive! Looks like it will be impossible to move around in May. But it seems it rained in a few places in the city?”
“Did you attend the udaiyavar utsavam at Sriperumbudur yesterday? What, no? Why not? Tell me the reason why!”
“… I need to show a few samples as a demonstration, and then I’m done. Can you show me the three-dimensional imaging of the functioning of the brain? What? No CD and all allowed. Only live! Why can’t you? If I show it to people, then they will start coming to me. I will just start recording, and show them the actual picture of the brain at every moment. Know how much it will cost? What, no?? Tell me why! It will come to 2000 crores!”
“Do you know five-finger therapy? I will put all ten fingers on an electric post like the one over the tracks there. No food and water for three days. Shall we do this treatment for you? … Yesterday only I finally had a darshanam at the Manavala mamunigal sannidhi. My daughter says that the puliyodarai is far superior to the Parthasarathy temple puliyodarai. … I only have to clear two more arrears, and then I am safe!”
“Do you know facial morphology? Can you tell the constitution of a person on looking at his face? No?? Tell me why not! Shall we make you walk all the way from here to Delhi?”
And so on it went. No! This is not some imaginary story I am writing (even my demented mind cannot conjure up such stuff!), but what actually happened to me today morning in the Mylapore station. There was this guy who walked up to me and said all these things, even though I was rude and refused to take off my earphones. (I was actually listening to something equally potty about the paternalist nudge – whatever that is!) We have run into each other quite a few times on the train and I have learnt enough to stay well away from him, but today he caught me unawares! I walked away, trying my best to not make it look too obvious, and was wondering why I was such a nutcase-magnet, when I was relieved somewhat to see him latch on to yet another guy, a hitherto complete stranger I’m sure!
Anyway, I felt that this was a significant event that deserved to be recorded here and shared with friends. And the pottiest thing to have happened in the recent past in my eminently potty life. And this beats the last incident on the Mylapore station hands down, when a slightly elderly gentleman intently watched me reading a paper, and asked “Thambi, are you a student of the polytechnic?”
Let me end on a saner note. Wish you all a very happy new year, and here’s some music for you to enjoy as well. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy. Bye!